a bit at a time...

huggy finished his second term (hurrah!). It all came to a climactic ending in the last week, when my and group and I coded like little monkeys from 9am wednesday till 3pm on Thursday. horrible memories, grim flashbacks, but the worst is behind us now.

once the work was handed in on thursday, and once I'd finished collapsing on the sofa, a question had to be answered....

Q. What comes before part-b?

A. Part-Ay!

ahem. well huggy and huggy's bitch, aka lady-friend, went out to the local student spot, got a little drunk, (on corky's creme egg shots URRRGGHH) then did a pill ....

it was the worlds most inappropriate eating of a pill ever. standard. we danced slightly too enthusiasticly to the baywatch theme, these boots are made for walking and lots of other cheese that we grew tired of and so decided to go home with the housemates of hug.

the housemates stumbled on towards kfc and we followed, we got there, and it turns out theres a bouncer on the door at kfc now, wtf, guarding the chicken fillets or something.

anyway, next day, went to the pub, ran into some old friends, got a bit tipsy, necked another bean, went home but fell asleep straight away. Had some spinny dreams as a result(involving a daniel beddingfield tune), and then woke up at 3am feeling slightly more perky. i started playing metal gear 2, never played it before properly, and thought it was wicky. completed it yesterday morning,now i think.. dissapointing! i started off watching all the cut scenes and everything (rare for me), i was following story lines and everything, fuck, i was practically taking notes on that shit, but then they had to throw in a load of morality and life is more than passing on genes shiiite, by the end i had my finger hovering on the start button whenever the screen went black.

aaaanyway... the night after i started playing MGS2, we went back to the pub again, took part in the pub quiz and WON! £90, we were rocking the kasbar etc (did you know yorkie bars were started by a lorry driver named martin?); well, we had another pill left each, so we erm, did them, huggy's ladyfriend fell straight to sleep, without passing go, without collecting £200, i couldnt sleep and so kept playing MGS2. theres a part (ro: you'll be all over this) where the colnel guy starts going really fricking weird, he suddenly shouts, "turn the console off now!, cut the power!" well no shit, by this time it was 3am and i was up on this pill, i thought i was tripping, practically started hyper ventilating, and also very nearly turned the ps2 off cos i thought it was some bollocks metal gear style shit you had to do (like finding meryll's codec from the back of the game case or putting your controller in the other port), and so its offical, thinking you're going on a trippy one by yourself is actually quite funny but at least i wasn't affected by it all.

anyway, you can reach me on frequency 140.12,

over and out

i said people, people, come on and check it now

Kowabunga!

i wanna tortoise! a teenage mutant ninja one! (Fuck turtles).

huggy’s lady friend hinted at this being a possible b’day present, and by hinted I mean, “I’m gonna get you a tortoise, fancy lookin after it for 75-100 years or till you step it on it ‘cos you thought it could support your weight and carry you to the fridge and back?”

the answer is of course yes! tortoises are the Bob Marleys of the animal world, life is relaxed and chilled for a tortoise, their maximum state of stress involves going in to their shell (possibly to sup on a fine cognac and listen to some progressive jazz). but then, they do live a long time, as long as a person, which begs the question will my kids/clones want to look after my tortoise in the year 2056? by then the tortoise population might be scarce, due to lack of lettuce, (McDonalds will have bought up all the lettuce farms to supply the growing demand for their Big Macs), this will make my tortoise a rare collectors item, that, my family could pawn off to fund their children’s education. so in essence, I am securing the future of my family!

fantastic, who would have thought ladies can have such insight?

i'm glad i like music and life, 'cos its easy to see the pain and strife and end it all tonight

Smokey Joe

I used to be a smoker. And thought, like most other smokers, “Damn, non-smokers are really bitchy about smoke, they need to chill out and have a ciggy” Then I quit smoking.

If any of you (two) readers out there are smokers, let me tell you, you stink. Hard.

My house of five is now down to one smoker. Being slightly out gunned as he is, he’s not allowed to smoke in the house. What he does in his room is his own biz though. Anyway, he doesn’t want to smoke in his room, because his clothes will stink (hard). So instead, he smokes in the kitchen with the door open. Correction. He used to smoke in the kitchen with the door open. Now he comes to the kitchen, tries the door handle theatrically to find its locked and he’s forgotten his key, then just smokes in the kitchen/lounge as he wanders about.

Of all the places to smoke, don’t do it in the kitchen! I opened the fridge door this morning, and got a whiff of smoke from his ashtrays on top. Granted most student filled house fridges don’t smell great, but they don’t stink (hard) like that either.

Moan, Moan, Moan.

one of the best yet, im nice like that, i suggest you take a rest

..a pint of vodka with a dash of whiskey

such a well thought out year, such maturity and forethought in my actions. what better way to top off this fantastic learning curve than by getting as stupidly drunk as i have every year. dont get me wrong, i enjoy getting thoroughly fucked up as much as the next degenerate; but its the lying in a pool of your own your girlfriend's sick while shouting abuse sobbing uncontrollably that gets my goat; so to speak.
huggy-duffs lady's friends (the friends of huggy-duff's lady) came down for the occasion, and to put the duff on the spot with awkward questions galore. but, i of coursed macked my shit, and that was the end of that, ahem.

a quick word on bouncers. i did not have id. actually thats not true. i didnt have a little photocard thing with my name and date of birth on it. i did however, have a full face of facial hair, complete with the fully authentic withered look of someone whos been in uni 3 years and got no where for it. i say- use some judgement. "but they did huggy duff" - you say, "they thought you didn't look over 18"- you continue." fair enough" i fire back with repartee. but they didn't. they didn't let me in for 20 mins while i stood there, then decided that during that 20 minutes i had just hit the turn of my 18th birthday; and that now my facial hair had grew that little tidbit more to warrant entry to their humble establishment. thats diamond fucking world class judgement.

i've got to admit your shaolin boxing aint that bad. now watch mine.

how to waste five hours of your life (that doesn't involve crack)

huggy donned his cape and mask and became DJ Huggyas he sometimes does under the cover of darkness last night. i was told to arrive at 10, and did so, and when i turned up got told i was on 1-2 last hour. coolio thinks me, i shall sit around, get my moneys worth (not difficult when you have free entry) and then seamlessly (and effortlessly) slide straight into the booth and rotate some plastic for the drunkards.

well i went to go stash my record box behind the decks when i entered and some guys were doing soundchecks. messed around a little on the decks with them, said hello and was generally the nice, polite and frankly damn right dashing huggy. so i get to the decks at 1, (having got my moneys worth you understand) and was told it would be ten minutes, ten minutes turns into 20, 20 to 30 you get the idea, huggy doesn't play. collects his stuff and leaves, bottom line is, the organiser was too fucked out his head to sort out the dj rotation. fair enough there was a lot going on around the club, but when you are turning up to play out of pure kindness (i wasn't being paid) you should make sure they get to make it worth them turning up.

funny ting tho: some very drunk girl who was trying it on with the djs randomly presses a button in the booth and kills all the music, so the djs stood there holding his willy shouting "what the fuck did you press?!" at this poor girl. she doesn't know, (where she is or what shes doing, let alone what button she pressed), so we were treated to five minutes of everyone just standing on the dancefloor staring at the dj in a silence only broken by him saying "Malfunction, sound engineer, malfunction" every 10 seconds.

huggy, his lady and the chemical brothers

guess what lady huggy did then? she bought man-huggy a ticket to the chemical brothers (not the ticket up there you understand but its just to give the whole thing the right feel) and we are going december 6th, a mere two days before her birthday. a strange role reversal of buying gifts has taken place here, where upon she buys me things, for her birthday. is this going to catch on? if it does, im expecting big things from J.C on december 25th

huggy's parents are leaving the country today; not because they are fleeing from the law, nay, they dodged that bullet some time ago, but they are seeing, huggy's sister and bro-in-law in france. this will be the first time they have left huggy alone in the country and he hasn't felt the need to organise a fat house party, namely cos he can do that any time he wants now that he is on his lonesome; and its lost its edge.

so i think that is all from the land of hugg as of recent, i shouldnt be seen posting here over the next 5 days though as i have a nice mountain of paperwork i need to clamber to the top of.

where in huggy goes irish

So this is the bad ass blog spot of the one like the huggy, just to set things straight, i made this because i was bored, don't even know if i'll update it after this post, but we can pray.

so this weekend i went with lady huggy to see her dad play in his kayley(keighley?, kayleigh?) band at a university not far from where she lives.

it was all in aid of celebrating burns night, as in that night that is no where near todays date but celebrate it they did. there was singing and dancing and the hugh-man looked very out of place in his non-black tie/non-tartan dress (tho he did look the shit-ride of course).

it has to be made clear at this point however, that lady huggy's dad is the mack-daddy(pun intended) of guitaring, i tried to take a video of him as he slaughtered riffs and notes up and down the fretboard but the many games of tetris had taken their toll on the battery, and he remains the only living proof of his own skill. he should be wrapped in pink cotton wool (pink, cos it is the cottenest of wools) and sealed in an air tight tupperware box to preserve the talent.

the beer at this event was however, shocking, and considering that this was a university, with university dwelling people, made it all the worse, i heard no complaints from the people, (least of all huggy + lady as they were getting free drinks on the band tab). the barman claimed that the "pressure was a bit high" on the tap, i claim that the water content was a bit instead, however the event made up for the short comings with the beer by providing free whiskey, quite good really.

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